


I'll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it

by pandaspots



Series: EreJean Week 2014 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Erejean Week, Eren is innocently oblivious, Jean is a jealous shit, M/M, i still don't know how to end stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is totally not in denial, and everyone is wrong.</p>
<p>Because really, if this was Marco he would be all over him, but this is Eren. He doesn't like Eren, and he's not in denial of that either.</p>
<p>A story of denial, denial and more denial.</p>
<p>Written for Erejean week day three: denial</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it

**Author's Note:**

> AHAHAHAAH I'M SO DISAPPOINTED WITH MYSELF, THE WORD 'DENIAL' AND ITS VARIATIONS AREN'T AT LEAST 100 OF THE WORDCOUNT.
> 
> title from FOB's Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year
> 
> hfksjfhgd this is so late it's the third here already

If anyone asked, he  _wasn't_ in denial.

 

Denial was a childish idea. Denial would require he had something he wanted buried deep down. Jean was nothing but an honest man, an out-there man, what you saw was what you got kind of man. He was totally not hiding anything.

 

But Armin, Marco, Annie, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, the ghosts, the freaking poltergeist, the game keeper, the teachers, probably the headmaster, Ymir, Historia, and Eren fucking Jaeger insisted that yes, he was in denial. Armin, by the way, theorized he was in denial that he was in denial, making it a denialception, which was ridiculous, because he wasn't in denial, because there wasn't anything for him to be in denial of. Specially not of the thing they all accused him to be in denialception of.

 

He was not in denial of being in denial of liking Eren.

 

I mean, of course, Eren was attractive, and now that all his zits went away and his skin was smooth like a baby's, and had that happy trail growing, and started developing very sizable muscles and a six-pack, he was starting to look like a guy Jean could date, but he was  _Eren_ , for fuck's sake. No one wanted to date Eren (Marco said he was in denial about that too, because just that week several girls had tried to hit on Eren, even going as far as full out popping buttons and asking him out. Jean told him that was unlikely).

 

It wasn't like every time they brushed against each other in class his heart did somersaults, that's a muggle schoolgirl thing. He totally didn't provoke Eren often just to get an excuse to touch the other boy. It was ridiculous that the entire school seemed to be under the impression that he liked the idiot; just because no one was fooled by the fake girlfriend stunt and Jean failed to be too ruffled about it. He did not fail to protest the one time Eren gave him a kiss on the lips right in the middle of the corridor, though, and the green eyed boy looked so dejected he almost felt bad. Except he didn't like Eren, so why did he care if he felt like the most disgusting being on Earth. It's not like Eren meant something more than friend to him.

 

Also he wasn't sulking. Eren just... went on a date with a girl instead of going with him to Zonko's like they planned to, it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even like Eren in that way, so he didn't have anything to account for a sinking feeling in his stomach. And if he happened upon them, in an alleyway, kissing, Hitch on her toes to reach Eren's mouth, it wasn't like he felt his heart break in half.

 

Nah, none of those happened, because he  _didn't like Eren, never have, never will._

 

It got to a point in mid-November where Mikasa called him 'Jean Kirstsundere', 'tsundere' being, as she explained, the Japanese word for 'in-denial little shit with a schoolgirl crush'. He denied that too. He did not have a schoolgirl crush, just as he wasn't looking for ways to fuck up Eren's every chance with every human being on Earth that wasn't called Jean Kirschstein. He didn't drag Eren away with ulterior motives to a dark secluded place away from Annie, he just wanted the notes for Ancient Runes. He didn't hex Mina with a pimple spell, her skin-primer potion must've been expired. He totally didn't set up Hannah and Thomas with a diluted love potion, nope, they just happened to find each other. He was sick of people implying he did what he didn't do (but he totally did, oh god, what was happening to him).

 

And he managed to keep that up for almost the entirety of the first half of the school year. He avoided facing any situation that might make him just up and scream to the four winds he was indeed deep in the hole of denial. Because hidden under all those layers of denial, there was the truth:

 

He liked Eren Jaeger more than he cared to admit.

* * *

 

Omake:

"What the  _fuck_ , Jean!" Eren slammed his back against a wall in the dungeons, right before curfew. He bit his lip to not let out a small whimper.

 

"I don't know what you're taking about." He denied.

 

"Ah, but you  _do_ know what I'm talking about, don't play dumb with me, Kirschstein." The green eyed boy growled, using his forearm to push Jean's shoulders on the wall.

 

"And what is it, because I'm completely lost." Jean replied, trying to feel like he had those extra inches on Eren.

 

"You fucking hurt Mina and everyone knows it was you, you shitface." He all but yelled, his face inches from Jean's. The blonde boy could feel the waves of animosity. "Why are you even doing this, you idiot, what are you even trying to prove?"

 

Jean should've said that he stopped paying attention somewhere between 'Eren shoved him in a wall' and 'Eren started talking', but instead of doing that, he decided his time could be better used by shoving his tongue down Eren's throat.

 

Which had the adverse reaction of making the idiot pull Jean off him and blush.

 

"Why did you do that?" The  _idiot_ asked, eyes wide as saucers.

 

"Oh, so it's only fun when you do it?" Jean demanded, slightly pissed off.

 

"N-no, I thought... I thought you didn't... like... me." Eren finished and, despite all his teasing, Jean realized he actually fell for all his bullshit. Eren Jaeger, Mister I-Mastered-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Puberty, the one guy always so sure of everything, one of the people Jean was sure saw right through his layers and layers of pure denial, was a fucking insecure puppy. He probably did the shit he did because  _he_ knew where he stood in this.

 

"Why did you kiss Hitch the other week?" He finally,  _finally_ asks. He's been too much of a wuss to try and talk about it before.

 

"Huh? You mean when she kissed me? Did you see that?" He was downright panicking. "I thought she was being really friendly that day, I didn't think she thought it was a date and --"

 

He didn't let him finish, just kissed him before more bullshit came out of his mouth. People accused him of being in denial, but look at this gorgeous bastard, in denial that he's probably the hottest 15 year old in all of Hogwarts. But his happiness was cut short because of Eren's insistence on  _pulling him away_ .

 

"For fuck's sake, Eren,  _what are you doing?_ "

 

"Why are you doing this, is this for the times I kissed you? I'm sorry, ok, but I just really like you and--"

 

"I like you too, you enormous pile of dragon crap. I like you too, I can't believe you believed me when I said I didn't."

 

Eren went confused for a while and then it was like Christmas was coming a month early, because he straightened up, eyes lit up, and then suddenly he was leaning up again, kissing Jean like he was born to do it, and then it was Jean's turn to push him away.

 

"I need to breathe, idiot!"

 

"Sorry! I just, I'm just happy. I'm really really happy." Eren nuzzled his neck, and Jean sighed.

 

What could happen if he just admitted to all that denial he was in, later, anyway?

 

**Author's Note:**

> please comment and leave kudos \õ
> 
> ps: it's all armin's fault keep tuned


End file.
